Title: Baby Bonanza (Silhouette Desire)
Author: Maureen Child
Number of Pages: ~300
Publication Type: Novel
Download Date: June 20th, 2012
Jenna is only aboard this luxury cruise for one reason: to find millionaire cruise line owner Nick Falco, show him photos of the twin four month old boys he fathered, and demand that he chip in child support.
She’s not here to have fun.
She’s not here to get swept off her feet by a man she still loves.
She’s not trying to win back his heart, or anything. She doesn’t need him, and the boys don’t need him: just some money. That’s all.
And then Nick and Jenna spend a lot of time being angry and sulky and feeling WILDLY PASSIONATE FEELS that they heroically keep to themselves for their various reasons, and the author never lets us go two pages without reminding us how physically attracted they are to each other.
And then at the end they get engaged because really they ARE in love after all! And they’re going to be a family! Yaay!
Star Rating: 2/5
Once again, if you’re into this kind of book, then you should download this book. Right away. Because this is a very “romance” romance, and that’s all there is to it.
Basically, this is 300 pages that could be solved in 30 if everyone involved was honest and talked about their feelings. Instead of just assuming everything and putting all kinds of words into other people’s mouths. And jumping to conclusions. There was a lot of conclusion-jumping in this book.
It did make me feel things, though: frustration. There were plenty of times where I thought of slamming my Kindle down and storming away (I didn’t! Kindles are fragile and it’s not the ereader’s fault anyway). Because it was just that frustrating.
And, once again, what’s the major lesson this book taught us? Wanting to have sex with someone is the essence of love. If you want to fuck him more than you’ve wanted to fuck anyone else, YOU ARE IN LOVE. Welcome to happily ever after, the all-sex, all the time station!
Really? They have twin boys, book. There is going to be a lot of diaper changing and 3am feedings and barf and little kids wanting to crawl into bed with you and not a lot of time for sex. Just saying, I predict trouble down the line for this marriage.
Plus, the leading man is a jerk. He buys a house without even asking her; also a puppy. And then he’s like, “YOU MUST OBVIOUSLY BE PLEASED WITH MY GRAND ROMANTIC GESTURE, NEVER MIND THAT I REALLY JUST LIFTED MY POCKET BOOK AND I DIDN’T ASK YOU EVEN AT ALL WHERE YOU’D LIKE TO LIVE, OR EVEN IF YOU’D BE ALRIGHT MOVING OUT OF THE HOUSE YOU HAVE.”
Nick Falco. Asshole.
Also, it clearly says that Jenna called and emailed him several times a week for a year, trying to tell him about her pregnancy and the birth of their sons. He says he deleted the emails unopened, and the voicemails unheard. I get the voicemails, but the emails?
If I ever accidentally got pregnant and the father wasn’t returning my emails, the subject line would start to say things like “YOUR BASTARDS ARE AT SIXTEEN WEEKS BECAUSE I AM PREGNANT, YOU ASSHOLE”. (Technically, bastards is correct here. Also, I’m sure most unplanned out of wedlock children are loved and cared for and that “bastard” is an archaic, judgemental term.)
I would make it really, really hard for him to avoid the issue. Also, I would have found a lawyer willing to take their fees out of the settlement and SUED HIS ASS long before our children were four months old. Trust me, Nick Falco is a millionaire; I’m really sure some lawyer would take the case. The settlement would be great.
Also, we have basically the same inner conversation again and again. Jenna keeps reminding herself not to be in love with him, and then she keeps seeing him looking smexy, and then she keeps reminding herself not to be in love with him… rinse and repeat. Jenna, we get it: he’s hot and great in bed, but he’s also the man who ignored all your calls and emails, missed your entire pregnancy AND the birth of his TWINS, and is probably even at this moment being a dismissive asshole. Get over it!
As for the actual sex… there were only a couple sex scenes, and most of them were in flowery language that made it difficult to tell what was going on. If you like romances but hate sex scenes, this might be a good book for you!
And yet, once again… I have met people who enjoy romances. If you’re capable of looking at this situation and seeing it in a romantic light, then by all means, download this book!
Otherwise, don’t. Just don’t.
Download? Nope. (Unless you love romances and hate female independence!)
(That last part was unfair but I’m only a little bit sorry.)